


take on me (take me on)

by wouldyouknowmore



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - Human, Beachfic, Dumb Horny Teenagers, First Time, Horny Teenagers, Incest, M/M, Mentions of Loki/others, Mentions of Thor/others, Pining, Sharing a Bed, Summer Vacation, Who loves a skinny boy with a big dick? It's Thor, dumb teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:34:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26585956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wouldyouknowmore/pseuds/wouldyouknowmore
Summary: Summer 1986. Thor has been stupidly in love with his little brother for as long as he can remember, but despite every indication that Loki is into him, too, he’s too afraid of, you know,ruining their entire livesto say or do anything about it. But then a beach vacation the summer before he leaves for college forces the two of them into close quarters (and onto one way-too-small sofa bed), and Thor starts to realize that his usual coping methods of Ignoring and/or Avoiding those unspoken feelings aren’t going to work much longer.Loki is walking by himself in the surf, carrying his sandals and the bag he’s been keeping his sunscreen and wallet and towel and like three bags of candy in all week, and Thor almost physically aches to see him. His dark hair is gold-tinged from the sunset, all curly and wild like he got it wet swimming and let it dry in the breeze… Thor wants to dig his fingers into it, fluff it up like he’s done a million times in the halls at school when he wants to bug him, but he also wants to leave his hands in it and tilt Loki’s chin up so he can kiss him, taste the saltwater on his skin. He knows how soft those curls are already, but he still wants to find out about his lips.
Relationships: Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 37
Kudos: 158
Collections: Boys of Summer, Thorki Baby Bang 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am soooo excited to finally get to share this one with you all!! It's an AU I've had rattling around in my head for literal years at this point, and I'm so glad I finally got to write it.
> 
> And I'm EVEN MORE EXCITED for everyone to see the amazing artwork that Rowan and Elsa have done!!! I could not have asked for better 😭
> 
> [ART HERE](https://twitter.com/hardwareupgrade/status/1312015660499824642?s=20) AND [HERE](https://twitter.com/spreadtheashes/status/1312014476707848192?s=20)
> 
> So much love to Wendy, my beta and cheerleader, and of course to the Big/Baby Bang mods for all their hard work putting this together again ❤️

_Summer 1986_

If Thor’s going to be honest, he can admit that he’d really been hoping for a car as a high school graduation present. But because he isn’t a spoiled little asshole, he accepts the two-week family beach vacation with all due gratefulness. He likes his parents after all, and they’ve already promised to let him and his younger brother have pretty much free rein while they’re at the beach. And as far as he feels about said younger brother, well… that’s a bit more complicated, but the fact of the matter is he can say quite truthfully that he loves Loki and they get along great. 

(It’s just… loving your brother is not quite the same thing as being _in love with_ your brother, alright.)

(And suspecting that it might not be just a one-sided thing, either—which is equal amounts amazing and frustrating as hell, by the way.)

But Day One is going great so far, and Thor hasn’t even thought about his car-less state once. His mom and dad planted themselves under an umbrella with a couple books this morning and haven’t budged since, so he and Loki have been free to wander up and down the shore, find themselves some lunch on the pier, chase down an ice cream truck (and in Thor’s case at least, try to ignore the way Loki’s lips look while he sucks on that popsicle), and finally, to ditch their shoes and shirts and go for a swim. 

(… And again in Thor’s case, try not to think too much about how the water makes those _way_ -too-short swim trunks cling to Loki’s pert little ass. Or the way that it snuggles up against his crotch while they roughhouse in the waves. … Right before Loki manages to grab his arm and heave him into the water, actually.)

So yeah. It’s great so far, right up until the moment that Loki steps back into his sandals, shrugs on his shirt, and says he’s heading back up to the room. 

“Why?” Thor asks, trying to keep it casual. He was sort of looking forward to sprawling out side by side on their beach towels to air dry and watch the sun set. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Loki tosses back, but he’s halfway smirking, and he adds, “I’ll be right back,” so Thor doesn’t worry too much about it. He just watches him make his way up the beach, stop and whack the sand out of his shoes once he reaches the pavement (swim trunks still wet, still clinging—shit), and eventually disappear up the street. 

Of course, when he still hasn’t shown back up almost an hour later, Thor decides that maybe he can worry just a little bit. And that he’s allowed to go track him down.

There’s no sign of him in the convenience store on the corner, or the tacky souvenir shop next door (unlikely in the first place), or the record store next to that (more likely—The Smiths have a new album out and Loki still hasn’t gotten it, heaven forbid), so Thor decides he’s probably still at the hotel and heads that way. Maybe he fell asleep or something. 

When he opens the door of their room and steps inside, though, he discovers that he’s only half right. Loki’s still at the hotel, but he is very much not asleep.

He also discovers that life is _so_ not fair.

Loki is sprawled across the sofa bed, swim shorts discarded on the floor, and his shirt is shoved up over his chest, leaving everything from his very pink nipples down completely exposed. _Everything_. The faint outline of his ribs under the skin, his flat little stomach—but more importantly, his dick, hard and red and getting some slow, steady attention from one of his hands, long fingers wrapped around it while the other is busy between his legs. 

Oh, shit.

Somehow, miraculously, Thor manages to keep the many and varied exclamations he could let out to himself. It also seems that he managed to unlock the door silently, because Loki doesn’t open his eyes, or look up, or even pause the rhythm he’s got going. 

Meanwhile, Thor’s frozen solid in the doorway, agape. 

This isn’t the first time he's been made aware of the fact that his brother masturbates. Loki’s seventeen, alright. He would have assumed anyway. But the veritable torture of hearing him at home, muffled through the bathroom door or the wall that separates their bedrooms, does not compare to this new torment.

Of course, Thor then realizes what it is Loki’s other hand is up to, and he reevaluates: he’s actually in hell. He’s gotta be. 

Loki is gay. Thor has known this for a while. (What Thor is himself, he doesn’t really know, and he envies Loki’s confidence in the matter—but that’s beside the point.) He’s also wondered quietly to himself now and again what other things might go along with Loki being gay, what Loki might get up to on his own or—heartbreaking—with other guys. But seeing him spread out with two fingers up his ass, pumping them in and out with his bottom lip between his teeth and his brows all furrowed up in concentration, is more than Thor should be expected to handle. 

It’s unfair, utterly and obscenely unfair, see, because no matter how much he wants to walk over there and lick away the bead of precome at the tip of Loki’s cock, or slip his own fingers in alongside Loki’s, or bite his lips even redder than Loki’s already done himself, Loki is his little brother, and Thor knows that he can’t do a thing. 

(Also, Thor notes with some mild awe, where the _fuck_ did a skinny kid like Loki get that much dick anyway? That’s unfair, too.)

About three seconds into… whatever this is, it occurs to Thor that he should be walking away, not standing here watching. Or drooling. Or chubbing up. And he should really, _really_ walk away before Loki notices him standing here watching—

The door chooses that particular moment to finally swing shut behind him with a thud, and all of a sudden, it’s too late.

_“Shit,”_ Loki gasps, and freezes himself.

‘Shit’ is correct.

_I’m sorry!_ is what Thor intends to say. It’s on the tip of his tongue, and he feels like it’s just about as good a response to this fiasco as anybody could come up with, as long as it’s immediately followed by a hasty retreat. That’s his intention, too, but then the apology is not what comes out of his mouth. 

“Don’t stop,” he blurts instead. 

He doesn’t have much time to panic over this though, because right away, Loki lets out a strangled little noise and gives his cock a quick squeeze, like he can’t help himself. 

It’s simultaneously the best and worst thing Thor has ever experienced.

A line was crossed when he didn’t turn around and run for his life a minute ago, but it feels trivial compared with the one they stumble over now, as Loki sucks in a deep breath, holding Thor’s gaze, and slowly, deliberately strokes himself again. There’s no excuse for it, no way to spin this into something they can brush off and ignore. And as always, Thor is caught between wanting Loki as he’s never wanted anyone or anything else, and the inescapable knowledge that he _shouldn’t_. But as Loki starts to move his fingers in and out of himself again, lets his eyes go all half-lidded but keeps looking right at him, Thor finds it hard to justify _why_ he shouldn’t. He also has to reach out and grab the door frame for support, but he doesn’t dare look away.

It’s even more difficult when Loki spreads his legs farther apart, like he’s putting himself on display just for Thor. He slides his fingers almost all the way out, letting Thor see how slick and shiny they are, before he pushes back in all the way up to the knuckle, and this time, Thor is the one who can’t keep silent. 

“Fuck, Lo,” he half-whispers, awestruck, while Loki makes another of those maddening, stifled sounds and thrusts up into his fist. Loki is usually the talkative one here (aka he never shuts up, and never has), and watching him struggle with speech is not something Thor is used to. He’s never seen anything so hot, and he has to reach down and press the heel of his palm against his own erection through his shorts. 

Loki takes note, if his quiet _ohh_ is anything to go by. 

It goes on like this for several minutes, maybe hours, who knows. Thor can’t keep track while he stands there sweating with his heart pounding in his chest and his dick throbbing. However long it is, though, is just long enough for him to start thinking that, if they’re going to do this, if Loki is going to sit here and get himself off for Thor, then what’s the difference if he crosses those few feet between them and gives him a hand? If they’ve pushed it this far, what’s to stop them from pushing it that one step further? Loki’s picked up his pace, he’s getting a little sloppy now, a little rushed, like he’s close, and that last breathy exhale sounded suspiciously like Thor’s name… If there was any time for Thor to do something, this is it, isn’t it? 

He pushes off from the wall, taking note of the way Loki’s eyes widen, how he definitely breathes his name this time, full of want—

And the phone on the counter of their suite’s kitchenette rings. 

For the third time, both of them freeze. 

It rings again. And again. 

And Loki’s eyes dart away from Thor’s toward the sound. 

It keeps ringing, and Thor begins to realize that whatever chance the two of them had here is slipping away every second. 

_Shit._

He crosses the room in a few angry strides and snatches up the receiver, barking, “What?!” into it without a single thought spared for his tone. 

“Excuse me, young man,” his mother replies after the briefest of pauses. 

Thor’s gut twists itself up into a small, tidy knot that very instant. 

“Shit. Sorry, Mom.”

Loki hisses out a curse himself over on the bed, and before Thor can say another word to either him or Frigga on the phone, he’s up and running for the bathroom, snatching his shorts off the floor on his way. 

“Watch your mouth. Anyway I’m glad you’re back at the room. Your father and I are at this little fish house by the pier picking up dinner. Is Loki still on his vegetarian thing?” 

How the hell is Thor supposed to answer that right now? 

“Um,” he stalls, trying to get the very fresh, very distracting mental image of Loki jerking off for him out of his head. God, _think_ —“Uhhh… oh wait, no. He said he was giving up. He had a cheeseburger for lunch today, said he missed them too much to quit.”

“Fried clams for everybody then. Don’t run off. We’ll be back soon, alright?”

He mumbles a reply and hangs up, but then stands there leaning on the counter for a good long while, overwhelmed and without the first clue as to what he’s supposed to do next. 

They fucked up. _He_ fucked up, by not turning right back around and leaving when he realized what Loki was doing. 

(By not acting sooner, when they still had a chance.)

_Fuck._

He doesn’t know what to do now. He doesn’t have any idea. He doesn’t know what his options even are, or if he has any to begin with. When their parents get back, are they supposed to just sit next to each other at the too-small dining table, eating clams, pretending like nothing had happened? Go to bed and wake up tomorrow and go on about their business, same as usual for the rest of this vacation? 

God, Thor can still see him when he closes his eyes, his legs spread wide and his—

He bangs a fist on the counter and heads for the door before he does something stupid, like trying the handle of the bathroom door or telling Loki how much he wants him through it, what they could have been doing right now if he’d made his move a little sooner. Instead, he finds himself a nice, uncomfortable patch of cement on the steps outside the room to sit on until his mom and dad get back, and resolves to think of nothing while he waits except for all the advanced math classes he’s going to have to take in the fall when he goes off to college. And tomorrow, he’ll just have to find something else to distract him, and the day after that, and the day after that. There were plenty of girls on the beach, right? He’d gotten a few looks, so maybe tomorrow he’ll just return one and see what happens. 

It’s a shitty plan, he knows, but god, it’s the only one he has.

This will be awkward. It’s gonna suck, but they’ll survive. They have to. It’ll be fine. … Eventually. 

———

Correction: This is not even close to fine. This is totally not fine, it will not ever be fine, and they will not survive. 

Apparently the shock and the subsequent hard-on from hell short-circuited Thor’s brain, because it isn’t until after dinner and another turn sitting outside until his butt hurts and he’s tired enough to call it a night that he remembers something very important.

He and Loki have to share that sofa bed. For the next two weeks. 

They’d laughed it off last night when they’d gotten in, their dad muttering something about how the brochure hadn’t lied and the suite _does_ technically sleep four people before disappearing into the one bedroom and leaving the boys to figure out how to unfold the pull-out couch in the living area. It had been funny then, a little exciting in a way that Thor could never be persuaded to admit out loud, but mostly funny. He’d hit six-three this year, and Loki’s pushing six feet himself, so the sight of them crowded in under the sheets with their feet sticking out at the end of the mattress had gotten their mom cracking up, too. 

It is _way_ less funny now. 

(Still a little exciting though—god, that’s messed up…)

Loki is already in bed when Thor comes back in, all the way on the edge of the mattress with his face smushed into his pillow. Thor can work with that… even if it hurts a little. It’s for the best, either way. He’s pretty sure Loki is still awake, but he climbs in on the other side as quietly as he can anyway, which is really not very quiet at all thanks to the creaky old bed frame, and tries to make himself as small as possible. Which is also a losing battle, of course, and when he tries to scoot back from the edge, he bumps right into Loki’s ass with his own, and has to whisper his most contrite, “Sorry, sorry!” when Loki jerks like he’s been scalded. 

Loki says nothing. He just wiggles farther away and burrows deeper into the blanket. 

Two weeks, Thor thinks with a sigh. He has no idea how they’re gonna get through it, but it’s not like they have a choice here.

———

The next day goes pretty much how Thor anticipated it would: awkward when Loki is around, long when he’s not. And boring, though this comes as a bit of a surprise, especially considering the fact that he spends a good portion of the day chatting and playing half-assed volleyball with a blonde named Kellie (with an _ie_ , she’d specified) and a couple of her friends. Kellie is as hot as anybody he’s seen on this beach so far, and had actually walked up and talked to him first, so he tries to consider himself fortunate, instead of bereft without Loki around to keep him company. She’s alright, he guesses, and her friends are okay, but he knows that if he were any other guy, he’d be counting his blessings and trying a lot harder to get her alone. And not, you know, still thinking about his little brother’s fingers up his ass. 

(He is _definitely_ still thinking about his little brother’s fingers up his ass.)

When Frigga asks how the two of them spent their day over dinner that night, Thor doesn’t say much more than, “Hung out.” Loki takes it a step further and just makes a noncommittal noise, which is a shame, because Thor is genuinely curious about what he was up to while Kellie was making eyes at him. Oh well. 

It’s another tense night in the sofa bed, followed by another day of wondering what Loki is doing while Kellie talks about sneaking some wine coolers from her mom’s stash if Thor wants to join her later on. He borrows Loki’s noncommittal noise for a reply, but that doesn’t seem to faze her. She shrugs and says, “Alright, well, you wanna kiss me or what?”

Thor says, “Sure,” and lets it happen, trying not to think about how Loki might kiss the whole time. It’s pointless, obviously.

But it isn’t a total waste of a day either. Right before bed, Loki finally breaks his silence and announces that he needs some Twinkies. Thor does not question this, because Loki then adds, “Do you wanna walk to the store with me?”

He still doesn’t look at Thor when he says it (more like an empty spot on the wall slightly to the left of him), but Thor feels some of the weight he’s been carrying around for two days lift off his shoulders. 

“Sure,” he replies, and gives him a smile just in time for Loki to catch his eye and halfway return it. 

And later, probably sometime in the wee hours of the morning, Thor wakes up with an arm stretched across the mattress, his hand halfway tucked under Loki’s shoulder. When he goes to move it, Loki makes a grumbly sound, so Thor whispers an apology. 

“’S okay,” Loki mumbles back, and Thor breathes a sigh of relief. Maybe they’ll get over this after all. 

———

Things get better over the next couple days. They also get worse. But a sort of rhythm is established, a predictable back and forth, and Thor can work with that. 

For example: 

Better: They spend the whole of the next morning together, quieter than usual, but way more comfortable, and Thor breathes easier. 

Worse: He breathes a little _too_ easily, gets too comfortable, and he’s caught staring at Loki like he’s the center of the universe in the middle of a conversation. Thor looks away and tries to change the subject, but Loki just shakes his head, says he’s going for a walk, and takes off for the rest of the afternoon.

Better: By dinner time at this Italian place with their parents, Loki’s back in a civil mood, and graciously accepts the mushrooms that Thor picks out of his pasta, saying, “Ooh yes, give ‘em here. There’s something wrong with you. But it benefits me, so I guess I can’t complain.”

(Thor has a small coughing fit over the implications of that statement, but Loki doesn’t seem to notice.)

Worse (but also better): Loki starts gravitating toward Thor’s side of the bed in his sleep. Thor lies there awake, listening to him breathe, wishing he could reach over and touch him on purpose, instead of just waiting for Loki to brush up against him again. Not even in a sexual way necessarily (though he wouldn’t complain)… He just misses the warmth when Loki turns a bit and his shoulder isn’t touching Thor’s back anymore. The thought of rolling over and draping an arm around his skinny waist leaves his chest aching, but he knows he can’t.

And then it starts over again the next day, and the next. The days are great, and Thor can almost pretend things are normal again while they sit around in the sand, Loki making sarcastic, conspiratorial comments to him about their fellow beachgoers and stealing his food. But the nights just get worse and worse, bad enough that Thor hardly sleeps anymore because he can’t stop thinking about what Loki would do if he just turned over and pulled him close, slipped a hand up his shirt, pressed his mouth to the back of Loki’s neck. 

He purposefully tracks Kellie down one evening while Loki’s working on a crossword with their mom, thinking that if he can just get some distraction and maybe, you know, release a little tension, it’ll be easier to handle being in such close quarters with Loki. She’s ready to be more than helpful there, too, but once she’s got him in the cool sand under the boardwalk with her top missing and her skirt hiked up around her waist, and she starts in on the fly of his shorts, he finds himself blurting out something about needing to get back to the hotel, family dinner he forgot about, maybe they can pick this up later, etc etc. She looks less than convinced, but he can’t bring himself to feel too bad about that. He knows he’d feel worse if he’d actually gone through with it. Things are bad enough already.

That night is the worst yet, which is probably his own fault. It’s not like his dick had known it wasn’t supposed to be interested in the hot, mostly naked girl wanting to get acquainted with it, and then he goes and climbs into bed with the number one object of both his affections and his lustful intentions… not a smart move on his part. Even if he weren’t currently suffering from a case of self-inflicted blue balls, though, he knows that Loki’s face pressed between his shoulder blades and his legs tangled up with Thor’s while he snoozes away would still be right on the edge of what he can handle. It’s _way_ too close for comfort now. 

He loves the contact too much to move away from it though, or to gently nudge Loki back over to his side. It’s alright. He can deal. Yeah, he can deal.

And then, of course, Loki shifts and makes a sleepy noise, snuggles up against Thor’s back a little more, and pulls his knee up higher. Not a huge problem, except for the fact that it brings the top of his thigh up flush with Thor’s fucking _nuts_ , which actually makes it a _very_ huge problem. 

“Hnnnng,” Thor grates out. 

He can’t deal.

Loki is reluctant to let go of his shirt, but Thor can’t get out of bed fast enough and only has the mental capacity to feel a little regretful about letting his hand flop back to the mattress instead of gently pulling it free. The rest is devoted to getting to the bathroom without running into anything and waking everybody up, and then getting his cock in his hand as fast as possible. 

He should _not_ be thinking about his brother while he jerks off a few feet away from him, he knows that. He’d just had a lovely set of tits in his face a couple hours ago, though, so he tries to think of those, or how wet and hot she’d felt through her little lacy panties, or even of soft, sweet Jane in his lap in the backseat of his dad’s car last month before they’d broken up—

“Fuck,” he hisses under his breath, because he’d been thinking about Loki that night, too, hadn’t he? About what it would be like to get him in the backseat instead, about the sort of sounds he’d make while he bounced on Thor’s cock… He’d be louder than her, Thor had been sure of that much then. But now he knows exactly what Loki sounds like while he’s getting fucked, even if it’s just with his own fingers, and he can’t get the sound of it out of his head, can’t forget how Loki had looked straight at him, can’t get over the fact that he’d laid there and gone along with it without hesitation, like he’d thought of it before, too… God, why hadn’t he just ignored the fucking phone that day? Loki was ready and willing, and fuck, maybe he still is. Maybe if Thor had just stayed in bed just now, this would be Loki’s hand on him instead, or his mouth…

Thor bites the inside of his cheek and comes, trying not to make a sound. That sharp exhale echoes in the bathroom, but hopefully not loud enough for Loki to hear if he’s awake now. The sigh of relief is quieter, but it’s short lived. 

He has to go back out there after all, and get back in bed with his little brother. You know, the one he just got off thinking about. 

Mouthing a string of words his mother would slap him for is all he can do to cope at the moment, so he does the whole time he’s taking care of the mess he’s made (the physical one anyway), flushing the toilet for plausible deniability (just in case), and washing his hands. It doesn’t make him feel any better about the situation, but then he’s pretty sure nothing can at this point. 

Seeing that Loki has rolled over and made his way back to his side of the bed does help. It makes it a tiny bit easier to get back under the covers with him and resolutely not think about anything at all. 

He knows he’s still fucked though.

———

If Loki knows what Thor was up to last night, he very politely keeps that knowledge to himself the next day, and Thor is thankful for it. They’re halfway through this vacation now, on the downward slope, and if they can just make it through another week without Thor losing his goddamn mind, he should be okay. There won’t be any torment in the form of sharing a bed with Loki when they get home, and he’s already started thinking about what sort of summer job he can find, how much he might be able to put back toward the car fund before he leaves for school. That should keep him nice and busy. And then, as hard as it might be to be so far from home, he can only hope that the distance does something to help with the whole in-love-with-his-brother situation. 

Just one more week, then. And then all of this gets easier. He can do it.

Frigga hands Thor a coupon for buy-one-get-one-free mini golf on their way out the door, says that someone was handing them out on the pier yesterday. Loki rolls his eyes where she can’t see, but since Thor thinks it would be a great idea to minimize the time he has to spend looking at a wet, shirtless Loki on the beach, he throws out a casual, “Mini golf’s pretty lame,” while the two of them head down the steps toward the hotel courtyard. 

“Totally lame,” Loki agrees. 

Thor lets it sit a moment. Loki can be difficult to bait intentionally, after all, but he knows what he’s doing after this long. 

“Bet I could still kick your ass, though,” he adds a minute later, still casual as can be. 

The indignant look Loki levels at him over his sunglasses is oh so satisfying.

———

Thor’s feeling good by the afternoon. He had, in fact, kicked Loki’s ass at mini golf ( _“Which doesn’t even matter because it’s a lame thing to be good at, so honestly I feel like I won here,”_ Loki had said). He’s kept Loki in all his clothes and dry in the process. _And_ he’s actually done a decent job of not ogling him or thinking about what he’d do if Loki asked for help with his sunscreen out on the beach (a line of thought that’s been winding up closer and closer to the region of ‘Loki’s legs wrapped around his waist and sunscreen all over them both and the beach towel, but this isn’t a big deal because they’ve got the beach to themselves and no one’s around to care that they’re fucking in public and, like, related’). 

Well, he _hadn’t_ been thinking about that anyway. He’s doing his best, okay. Come on.

“Alright, there?” 

Thor hopes that Loki looks that smug and amused because he just tripped over his own feet and not because he’s got some idea of what Thor’s thinking. 

(Because if he _did_ have some idea of what Thor’s thinking, surely that wouldn’t be his response after all that awkwardness and avoidance. Surely.)

But then it doesn’t take long after they finally head down to the pier before Thor is reminded of the unfairness of life, and that he should’ve known that his good mood was too good to last. This reminder takes the form of a certain blonde that he had totally forgotten about leaving high and dry just the night before. 

“Hey, you,” Thor hears behind him while he and Loki wait in front of a snack stand for a couple corndogs to come out of the fryer, and he doesn’t think anything of it until he notices Loki looking over his shoulder like the _‘excuse you, bitch’_ is just ready to roll off his tongue. So he turns around. 

Shit. 

“How was family dinner?” Kellie asks. She’s smiling, though, and that smile widens when Thor can’t help a little glance downward. He’s human, alright, and her bikini top is _very_ small. 

“Um, good. Hi. Sorry about that.”

“I’m sure you can think of some way to make it up to me.”

Loki makes a gagging noise behind his hand, not at all subtle, and Thor tries to smile, but he’s pretty sure it comes out closer to a grimace.

Kellie, determined as ever, barrels on despite the less than warm reception. “I’m leaving town tomorrow, though,” she says, “so last chance. But my mom is gonna be out all night, and she already told me not to wait up. Perfect opportunity for you to finish what you started last night, huh?”

Oh great. 

But before he can even begin to think of a response to that, Loki mutters, “Fucking Christ,” shoves past Thor, and takes off down the boardwalk. 

For a split second, Thor is ready to go after him, too, but he doesn’t take more than a step in that direction before he realizes that he doesn’t have the first idea of what he could say. 

They haven’t talked about any of this, _ever_ , and not just the recent debacle. Thor’s never brought up the years of pining looks and too-casually-affectionate behavior for brothers in their teens for a reason, because what good would it do? He’s always known that if he’s wrong about Loki wanting him, too, and it’s just him who’s the perverted freak in love with his brother, his life is over as soon as he admits it. He could never look Loki in the eye again. But now, even though he knows that Loki is at the very least up for a little voyeuristic jerking off here on vacation, that’s not quite love is it? That isn’t wanting to kiss Thor, or hold him, or fall asleep wrapped up in his arms and spend the rest of their waking lives together, or— _god_ , the point is that it might just be him. And then he’s just as fucked _and_ pathetic on top of it.

The worst thing, though, is that even if it isn’t just him, even if Loki feels the same way that he does, they can’t do anything about it. Maybe it would be better to just get it out and try to move on, who knows. But if it’s worse? Thor can’t take that risk. He’s barely handling this as it is. 

So he doesn’t go after Loki. He just stands there and contemplates jumping off the edge of the pier until Kellie speaks up again. 

“Yikes. He’s dramatic, whoever he is. What’s that about?”

Thor watches him until he gets lost in the crowd, and lets out a sigh. “Complicated,” he says. “It’s really complicated.” 

“Oookay. Anyway. I’ll let you deal with that. If you’re done before, I don’t know, three A.M. or so, I’m at the Seaside, room 312.” 

The smile she gives him is meant to be one of those promise-laden ones that might have had him following her right then and there if this had been last summer. But it isn’t, and he shakes his head. 

“Let’s just go ahead and say that’s not gonna happen,” he says. 

Kellie drops the smile. 

“Look, it’s not the right time. I’m sorry for stringing you along here.”

Her eyes glance over in the direction Loki had gone, and something in the slow way she says, “Riiight,” makes him think she’s at least put a couple pieces together. She doesn’t know that Loki is his brother, but even if she did, he can’t really bring himself to care what she thinks.

She walks away without saying anything else, and for at least a minute or two, Thor stares out at the water, just letting the noise around him fade out while he tries to get a handle on this whole convoluted mess. That is, until someone yells his name, and he snaps out of it, confused. 

“Thor! Couple corndogs for Thor!”

Oh. Right. 

(He’s not hungry anymore, but he takes his and the one meant for Loki anyway and starts walking back toward the hotel. He’d seen a guy who looked homeless up on the corner on the way here from the mini golf course earlier; maybe he’s still there and could use some dinner.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're doing the chapter-a-day thing, so I'll see you all tomorrow~ 
> 
> Make sure to subscribe to the fic or to me in general if you don't wanna miss the posts!
> 
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	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME BACK 
> 
> We're picking back up right where we left off...

Where Loki had run off to remains a mystery even after he gets back to the room. And when their mom asks him what he’s been up to on his own all evening, he just says, “Made some friends,” with a smile that Thor does not like one bit.

“Alright, just stay out of trouble,” she replies. 

_“Not allowed—keep your ass in your big brother’s line of sight at all times,”_ would’ve made Thor feel a whole lot better, personally, considering the way Loki smirks at him when Thor looks over in question. He doesn’t have to say anything. The _‘go ahead and ask me’_ is written all over his face. 

Thor thinks that would be a horrible idea. 

His new ‘friends’ aren’t brought up again that night, and once the TV and all the lights are turned off, and the two of them are settled on their respective sides of the bed, as far apart as they can comfortably manage, Thor falls asleep much faster than he might have expected to. Maybe it’s just some sort of emotional exhaustion finally setting in, who knows, but when he wakes up in the middle of the night, groggy and disoriented in a puddle of drool, he’s halfway forgotten where he is. 

But only until he shifts around and feels Loki snuggled up against his front, back to his chest, ass to his crotch, no space between them, all the way down to where their legs are tangled up in the sheets. 

That brings it all back pretty quick.

Loki’s breathing is smooth and even, unbothered. He’s asleep and probably unaware that Thor’s managed to drag him into a full-body cuddle, as unaware as Thor had been doing it in the first place, and Thor would very much like to keep it that way. He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to get out of this without waking him up, though—but ohhh _shit,_ this just got more complicated.

Thor bites his lip and breathes hard through his nose, determined to stay cool and collected and quiet and not swear up a storm… and then has to bite it a little harder when Loki hums in his sleep and arches back into the erection Thor really, _really_ wishes he didn’t have working against him right now. Thank god Loki’s asleep and doesn’t realize. Fuck, and that’s all the more reason to not wake him up, too. There’s no way he wouldn’t notice that immediately.

This is bad. This is very bad. And the longer he lays here, the worse it gets. He can smell Loki’s shampoo, he can feel every little shift against him, the rise and fall of Loki’s side under his hand with every deep inhale and exhale. He’s so close he can practically taste him, and all he’d have to do is lean forward a few inches if he wanted to for real. And he does want to, he really does. 

Loki moves again. He’s always been a squirmy sleeper, but it never bothered Thor that much when they were kids and Loki would come climb in his bed when he couldn’t sleep. It bothers him a whole hell of a lot now, though, and leaves him gasping as his cock presses into the soft swell of Loki’s ass. 

“Hmmmn,” Loki hums again, sounding less sleepy and closer to downright horny, and Thor thinks he might cry. 

He can’t handle this. It’s too much. Loki’s shirt rode up during that last little wiggle, and Thor can feel skin under his pinky and ring finger now, smooth and warm. He should pull his hand back first, he decides, still trying to figure out how to escape with the least amount of damage done. If he tries to shift his hips back while he’s still got ahold of Loki’s side, he might squeeze him accidentally or something. Better to brace himself against the mattress instead, right. Yeah. 

Except he hesitates, because when he lifts his hand up, slowly, carefully, Loki shifts up into it, like he’s seeking it out, and this time, Thor gets nothing but the bare skin low on his side. And god help him, he has to _touch_. He slides his hand up and forward before he can stop himself, grazing along the bottom of Loki’s ribcage around to his chest, holding his own breath while he feels Loki’s stutter for a second, then even back out. He’s been touching Loki all his life, even here just below his breastbone, down his stomach… but horsing around in the water or tickling him until he cries has never left Thor this hopelessly lost and overwhelmed. He’s never given in and acted without thinking like this, like when he pushes his hips forward and grinds into the welcome pressure there while Loki makes another quiet, needy sound, or slips his hand lower, over Loki’s navel and feeling the trail of soft hair leading down from it—

Loki sucks in a sharp inhale, and Thor freezes. 

He stays still, waiting, praying that he hasn’t fucked this up irreparably. And even though it feels like a goddamn lifetime, Loki’s breath does finally go back to slow and steady, and Thor lets a shaky exhale of his own out. 

That was too fucking close. He’s an idiot. 

He rolls over all at once, shaking the whole sofa bed and making the frame creak like it might give out, and pretends to be asleep while Loki grumbles and scoots over to the far edge of the bed with a fair amount of indignant huffing at being woken up so abruptly. 

This can’t happen again, Thor knows, and so he doesn’t go back to sleep until he sees the first hint of daylight through the gap in the curtains.

———

Everyone’s gone when he wakes up at… one in the afternoon, according to the clock in the kitchenette (once he squints at it). Ugh. He doesn’t remember his mom trying to wake him up, and figures they all just decided to let him sleep and catch up later. But you know what, he’s cool with it. 

There _is_ a note on the counter, though, in Odin’s tiny handwriting: 

_I’m taking your mother shopping today. We won’t be back until 9 or so, but we expect you both here by then. Don’t lay around and waste the whole day. — Dad_

They’re on vacation. Thor’s pretty sure he’s allowed to spend the day moping in the hotel if he wants to, okay. And it’s not like his dad’s here to stop him, so he does. 

… For a little while anyway, and then he finally gets sick of doing nothing but watching reruns and MTV, sampling the various snack items they’ve accumulated over the last week, and very intentionally not looking at Loki’s side of the bed. The urge to stick his face in Loki’s pillow and breathe in the smell of him is strong, but after this many mistakes, he’s considering himself on probation. Since he can’t keep his stupid horny hands to himself, he can just sit here and pine. 

… Or maybe go for a walk and pine, on second thought. He doesn’t know how long he can trust himself here alone. 

He showers, throws on a t-shirt and some swim trunks just in case the urge to go for a dip arises, and heads down toward the pier just in time for the sun to start slipping down into the horizon out over the ocean. And for the millionth time today, he wonders what Loki’s doing. Maybe he’s looking at the sunset, too, who knows. Maybe he’s thinking about Thor as much as Thor’s thinking about him… not that it does either of them any good. 

It’s not like Thor can stop either way, though.

Someone’s got their car stereo blasting in the parking lot next to the boardwalk entrance, just vague noise with a slightly discernible beat from the end of the street, but as he gets closer, Thor eventually recognizes it as a song that he likes, but that he only knows, like, the chorus of. He does pick out another phrase as he walks by, however, and he has to scoff out loud when he hears it. 

_“Say after me… It’s no better to be safe than sorry,”_ the singer declares. 

Thor calls bullshit. It is _definitely_ better to be safe than sorry in his case, considering how ‘sorry’ would play out. No question.

But… halfway down the pier, it’s still stuck in his head. Not the chorus, or the catchy little synth business—well, okay, that’s stuck in his head, too, but it’s more background noise. It’s just… it’s not like ‘safe’ is all that great either at the moment, is it? Safe is pretty shitty, actually. Safe hurts. Maybe not as much as sorry would, sure, but it’s not looking that much better now that he thinks about it. Both are crap, and so he guesses he owes pencil sketch guy from that music video an apology. 

Thor lets out a sigh. This is _so_ not how he saw this vacation going.

He’s seen everything on this pier now, he realizes when he reaches the end. Multiple times. Funny how he’d never really noticed that or cared when Loki was with him… but at the moment, he’s got zero interest in any of it. There’s not much to see on the beach either for that matter, but it looks like the tide is going out, so maybe he can go stare at a starfish or an anemone or something in the tide pools until his parents make it back. Super exciting stuff, he thinks, and sighs again. 

And then he sees Loki down on the beach.

He’s walking by himself in the surf, carrying his sandals and the bag he’s been keeping his sunscreen and wallet and towel and like three bags of candy in all week, and Thor almost physically aches to see him. His dark hair is gold-tinged from the sunset, all curly and wild like he got it wet swimming and let it dry in the breeze… Thor wants to dig his fingers into it, fluff it up like he’s done a million times in the halls at school when he wants to bug him, but he also wants to leave his hands in it and tilt Loki’s chin up so he can kiss him, taste the saltwater on his skin. He knows how soft those curls are already, but he still wants to find out about his lips. 

Thor sighs again. Too bad. 

But just because he can’t kiss Loki doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be close to him, so he decides to head down to the beach himself. 

Loki is taking his time, walking slow, just sort of meandering along, and so it doesn’t take long for Thor to start catching up to him. Or to get close enough to see that he’s wearing a cropped-off t-shirt and forgot to put sunscreen around his middle. Thor shakes his head. The small of Loki’s back is bright pink, standing out sharp against the teal of his shirt, and Thor’s willing to bet his stomach is, too. 

Wait, though.

That’s _Thor’s_ shirt.

He can see the neon colored sunset and palm trees silhouetted in black over it, the _Ocean Pacific_ in scripty writing across the bottom, though it’s partially missing where Loki has obviously cut off the whole bottom half of the shirt. Thor figured he’d left it in the locker room at school and someone else had grabbed it by mistake when it had disappeared sometime last fall, but here it is. Has Loki had it all this time? 

It’s too big on him, and the collar’s listing toward one shoulder (also pink). The bottom gapes open and flutters around Loki’s waist in the breeze, and Thor thinks of how easily he could slip his hands up underneath it… But god, that’s _his_ shirt! Loki is in _his_ shirt, out here in public, and he doesn’t know which throbs harder, his heart or his cock. If he were up there walking next to Loki, would people see them and assume that it’s Thor’s shirt (correctly)? Would they assume the two of them are dating (if only)?

He isn’t walking next to Loki though. Not yet. And he’s still far enough behind that no one pays him any mind when three men walking the other direction veer into Loki’s path and stop in front of him. 

“Hey, sweetness,” one of them says. He’s gotta be at least mid-thirties, maybe forty, with a mustache and chest hair sticking out of his unbuttoned shirt that would shame Tom Selleck into an early retirement. 

Thor stops, too, just because he knows that if he doesn’t take a second here and compose himself, his car fund is getting confiscated when his parents have to bail him out of jail for breaking this guy’s face. 

Also—his heart, still beating hard from the stupid shirt, stops now, and his stomach lurches—what if these are the ‘friends’ Loki had mentioned yesterday? He’s only seventeen… Shit, shit, shit—

“What’s your name?” Tom Selleck’s dick of a lookalike asks then, and Thor breathes a little easier. Loki doesn’t already know them, thank god. He’s still pissed, but at least he knows he doesn’t have to actually murder anybody. Yet.

Loki hesitates for a moment, looking between the three of them, and Thor holds his breath. He can’t see his face, but he can see the tension in Loki’s shoulders, and he’s just about to jump in and intervene when Loki relaxes, cocks his head to the side just a little, and says, “It’s Loki, but I’m definitely not that sweet.”

… _Fuck._

The first time Thor ever saw Loki kiss someone was last year, behind the bleachers when he’d been walking home after school. He still remembers the absolute punch to the gut that had been, how sick he’d been over it, how much he wanted to march over there and knock out every one of Steve’s perfect teeth. But he hadn’t. He’d stayed calm, maybe watched for a second or two longer than he should have, and then kept walking, because as devastating as it had been, Steve was his friend, and he knew that if anybody—besides Thor himself—was going to treat Loki right, it’d probably be him. (And it turned out in the end that it wasn’t Loki’s heart he needed to worry about. Poor Steve. Thor hadn’t felt that sorry for him though, whoops.) 

But that blow is nothing compared to this one now. Loki doesn’t know these guys, how old they are, where they’ve been, what they want (as if that isn’t fucking clear enough), but here he is with a hand on his hip and a definite edge of flirtation in his voice. He can’t really be serious. He _can’t_. But even though all Thor has to look at is the rear view—he can’t even see his face, but his posture, his long legs, his stomach and lower back exposed and that too-big shirt slipping over his shoulder… Thor wants him, bad. And the looks on these assholes’ faces say the same thing. 

More than that, though, Thor wants to put himself between Loki and them, he wants to make sure he’s alright and then make them wish they’d never laid eyes on his little brother. 

He settles for a less violent route, though. 

One of the other guys steps a little closer, right into Loki’s personal space, and Thor springs into action. 

“Lo!” he shouts, breaking into a run. He doesn’t think about this too hard, telling himself that it’s strictly for brother protection purposes and he’s not to enjoy it in the slightest, but once Loki startles and turns, the instant of recognition and pleasant surprise on his face totally does Thor in. 

“Thor, what—”

_Don’t think about it,_ Thor says to himself, right before he slides an arm around Loki’s middle, pulls him close, and presses his lips to Loki’s cheek. 

It’s brief, too brief, but Thor can smell the salt in his hair. He momentarily considers just not letting go, ever, but decides not to push his luck.

“There you are. I thought we were going swimming again, babe,” he says once he pulls away.

Loki stares up at him, wide-eyed, lips parted, his face suddenly much pinker than the sun had left it on its own. 

_Oh my god I love you,_ is on the tip of Thor’s tongue, but he keeps it to himself, and thankfully, Loki snaps out of it. Thor might have had to kiss him for real if he’d kept looking at him like that.

General bullshitting has always been a strong suit of Loki’s, so he catches on quick, and it’s a delight to see it up close as he settles into a smile that definitely has a hint of _‘you absolute asshole’_ behind his eyes. “Maybe if you weren’t so fucking slow, _babe_ ,” he says, cheerful and hostile all at once, “we could’ve been swimming already. Little late now, don’t you think?”

“Nah, you know I like swimming in the dark.” 

Loki narrows his eyes at him. 

This could still go sideways, despite the fact that Thor’s pretty well fucked up whatever Loki had planned on doing here before he showed up, and Tom Selleck’s Evil Twin and Company are staring at them, confused, but Thor offers up his most sincere, slightly pleading grin and silently begs Loki to cooperate. A little tug at the back of his shirt can’t hurt either.

And finally, Loki rolls his eyes and looks back to their uninvited company. 

“Sorry, guys. Places to be, boyfriends to swim with in the dark. You know how it goes.”

He grabs Thor’s hand with his empty one, tosses out a casual _bye_ , and then Thor waits until they’re walking the other direction to let the relief show on his face. Crisis averted.

“Maybe we’ll catch you both later,” Tom Selleck calls after them then. 

Thor can only be so polite for so long, but Loki doesn’t see him flip the fucker off behind his back, so it’s fine.

Also, he’s currently walking on the beach, taking in the last little bit of evening sunlight reflected off the water, holding Loki’s hand while Loki is wearing his shirt and pretending they’re together. A lot of things are fine for the moment. Of course, if Thor knows Loki at all, he knows that he’s probably going to pay for this sooner or later. 

And sure enough, once they’re well out of sight a few minutes later, back down the beach and almost underneath the pier, Loki snatches his hand back and rounds on Thor.

“Alright, what the _fuck_ was that?” he demands. 

Sooner it is. Thor realizes now that he probably should’ve been coming up with some good excuses for what just happened instead of enjoying the hand-in-hand sunset stroll without a care in the world. Time to wing it, then. 

“God, sorry, sorry,” he starts. Always best to start with an apology, right? “I could’ve found a better way to get rid of those guys, I know. I just thought they’d leave you alone if they thought you had a boyfriend.”

Loki’s eyes roll all the way back in his head. “Oh, for the love of,” he mutters, and then starts walking away, but Thor doesn’t even have to decide whether or not to chase him this time, because he turns around three seconds later and marches right back, furious, saying, “You’re a fucking idiot,” when he gets close again.

“Hey! What—” 

“You’re an idiot. You think I needed rescuing? I had it covered, Thor.”

“It didn’t look like that to me.”

“Maybe that’s because you think I wanted them to leave me alone.”

Oh god, he can’t be serious.

“Loki, they were total creeps!” Thor protests. “Did you even see them? They were like forty!”

Loki shakes his head and scoffs. “Stop acting like that’s what this is about. Jesus.” And before Thor can ask him what the hell that means, he adds, “Just… stay out of it next time. Oh wait! I forgot! There won’t _be_ a next time because you had to go and _protect my honor_ or some shit, and now they think we’re dating.”

He can _not_ be serious right now, Thor thinks. He can’t really be saying that he would’ve gone along with those assholes… 

“Look, I said I was sorry for making it weird,” Thor starts, getting angry himself and trying to keep it under control, but he doesn’t get any further than that, because Loki mutters something under his breath and starts to walk away again. 

“… only time you’d have the balls to kiss me, and it’s just to be a goddamn cockblock,” is what it sounds like, but that can’t be right. There’s no way.

“What?”

“I _said_ —” Loki turns around, shouting now, “—that you’re a fucking coward!”

Something about this nags at Thor in a way that would keep him up all night if they left the conversation here. But he’s also mad and not ready to leave it alone, like Loki is obviously just daring him to do with that glare, _‘just go on and prove me right,’_ it says, so he opens his mouth to argue—which Loki must have just been waiting for, because he talks right over him, more quietly now but with far more venom in his voice. 

“But you’re a hell of a lot braver when you think I’m asleep,” he says. 

It takes just a second to register what he means. But when it clicks, he might as well have punched Thor with the way it leaves him reeling. 

He’s mortified. If he thought the little undercurrent of guilt he’s been dealing with all day was bad, this is a million times worse. Loki had been awake… Thor’s been sleeping and lazing and walking around all day like keeping his hands to himself is the biggest thing he has to worry about, and Loki has known exactly what he’d done last night the whole time. 

Shit. 

An apology might be pointless here. Loki looks like he’s ready to strangle Thor with his bare hands, and it might just make him angrier if he apologizes. But Thor doesn’t know what he could possibly say otherwise. He’s been trying not to think about it all day, trying not to remember how Loki had felt up against him, the warmth of his skin beneath Thor’s fingers, how he’d practically melted back against him, the sounds he’d made, the—

Hold on.

Wait right there.

Loki was awake. Those weren’t just sleepy, thought-he-was-dreaming-it, involuntary reactions. He was awake, he _just_ said that he’d been awake, and last night he was grinding back against Thor’s dick, letting out those turned on, needy noises… He was egging Thor on the whole time. And maybe longer than that, too—the night before that, when Thor had had to scramble out of bed and jerk one out in the bathroom, was _that_ intentional? All the slow migrations over to Thor’s side of the bed at night for the last week… Fuck, is the stupid shirt supposed to be winding him up on purpose, too? 

What the fuck does Loki want him to do? It’s not like they can act on this. Loki knows that. He _knows_ that they can’t do anything about it. He has to. Is he trying to make him lose his goddamn mind? Is this intentional torture? What was he supposed to do with that? 

What the hell is he supposed to do now?

“What do you even want from me?” Thor finally asks. There’s a note of pleading in his voice, but Loki’s defiant scowl doesn’t soften at all. 

“Like I said, you’re an idiot,” he snaps. “Figure it out.”

Either he wants Thor to go crazy, or he wants him to acknowledge the thing that they cannot under any circumstances acknowledge, the thing that would ruin their lives. Why? It wouldn’t do any good, even if they weren’t currently furious with each other. They could be sweetly embracing one another in a field of fucking wildflowers, confessing their feelings with smiles on their faces, and it still wouldn’t matter, because they’re brothers, and that’s not ever going to change, no matter how much they want it to. Maybe if Loki loved him like he loves Loki, and they were older and on their own and far away from anybody that knew they were brothers, it would be different, but none of that is the case. It’s pointless to think about it, and even more pointless to talk about it, to force Thor into admitting how he feels and making it and the disappointment that much more real. He _can’t_. 

“What do you fucking _want_ , Loki?” 

It comes out louder than he intended, just as much a shout as Loki had let loose on him a minute ago, and Loki nearly flinches. He gets over his surprise right away, though, and takes a deep breath like he’s about to turn this into a screaming match, but Thor isn’t done. 

“What do you want me to do?” Thor shouts again. “You want me to flat out say it and ruin everything? You wanna rub it in my face? You want me to just burn the whole fucking bridge down?”

Loki actually seems taken aback by this, but he’s still glaring while searching for something to snap back with. 

It strikes Thor then, that even with his face twisted up in anger, even after all the yelling and guilt and awkwardness and anxiety and pining, he still loves Loki more than anything. More than everything else.

So fuck it. 

“I don’t—,” Loki starts to say, but Thor doesn’t let him finish. 

“Fine,” he snaps, and then the kiss shuts Loki up pretty efficiently.

Nothing happens for a couple of very tense, very stressful seconds, and even though Thor went into this already knowing it was a mistake, he starts to worry that it’s even worse than he thought. Maybe he’s more of an idiot than either of them realized. But just when he’s decided to pull away (and fling himself into the ocean), Loki gasps against his mouth like he’s drowning, drops his bag and his sandals, throws his arms around Thor’s neck with enough force to nearly knock him over, and kisses him back. 

Thor doesn’t really know what he expected to happen. It wasn’t this. 

“You—mmnf—are so—hmmmn—goddamn stupid,” Loki says between kisses. 

Or that. 

“I hate you, _god_ ,” Loki adds. 

That’s a little closer to the mark. Well, not including the hum or the warm, wet swipe of his tongue over Thor’s bottom lip. Oh god, is this real right now?

But if he’s going to throw everything away here, he’s going to do it properly, and there’s one more thing he needs to say that could ruin everything much quicker than just one messy (perfect, amazing) kiss on vacation to be swept under the rug like everything else when it’s over. Something he can’t take back. 

Loki chases after his lips when he pulls away, and that’s a test of his resolve on its own. But he reaches up and gently holds him still with his hands in those curls, just like he’d wanted to do earlier, and lifts Loki’s face upwards to make sure he’s looking him in the eyes. 

“I love you, Loki,” Thor says before he can second guess himself, as earnestly as he possibly can. 

Loki blinks at him.

(Thor might still fling himself into the ocean. That’s not off the table.)

The waves lapping at the shore and the pilings that hold up the boardwalk is the only sound between them for just a few moments too long, so Thor adds, “I don’t know if that’s what you wanted to hear, but it’s all I have.”

Loki blinks again, and says, “Oh shit.”

Thor closes his eyes. 

Fuck. Guess that answers that question. 

“No, no, nononono,” Loki suddenly blurts out, and then there are hands on his cheeks pulling him downward. “That’s not what I meant! Hey!”

Loki’s eyes are wide and worried when Thor reluctantly opens his again, and very close… and then he’s being kissed again, soft and gentle and surprisingly chaste compared to just a minute ago. 

“I love you, too,” Loki tells him, followed by another feather-light brush of his lips. “That was just really intense, is all.” 

Thor takes a moment to savor the good news that he doesn’t actually have to drown himself in the Pacific… and then he’s the one mumbling through clumsy, eager kisses, mostly Loki’s name and the occasional _ohmygod_. They don’t stop until they’re both out of breath and gasping, and Thor is lightheaded from the thrill of Loki’s hands fisted in the back of his shirt and the taste of him on his lips. 

It’s better than he ever thought it could be, especially when Loki catches his eye and grins up at him. 

“Wanna take that swim in the dark after all?” he asks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more tomorrow~ 
> 
> [My Twitter](https://twitter.com/woulduknowmore)  
> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny story: I realize that the Baby Bang minimum wordcount is 5k, and I had every intention of doing this in like, 7k. Obviously I missed the mark. I have no excuses. 
> 
> BUT THIS IS IT!

Thor hasn’t forgotten that they shouldn’t be doing this, that they’re brothers and this isn’t supposed to work, but he’s definitely having a hard time believing it after their swim (which got sidetracked after Loki invaded Thor’s personal space in the water to kiss him again and grope at his chest, then swim away just as quick). 

(… Incidentally, that none of the girls Thor’s been with have ever shown his tits the same attention he’s shown theirs seems like a terrible tragedy after that little tease.) 

They find a nice rock to sit on and air dry in the cool breeze, just sitting close with their fingers linked between them. Thor keeps shifting his hand now and then, just to feel Loki’s in it and remind himself that this is actually happening, and his heart flutters in his chest every time Loki gives him a little squeeze in return. 

“So what was up with that girl on the pier?” Loki asks, tone carefully casual, and Thor’s heart stops fluttering and drops right into his stomach instead. 

“Um. You know. Just a girl.”

“Uh huh.”

… 

“We might have made out… a little bit,” Thor admits. “But she wanted more than that and I just couldn’t do it.”

Loki nods, but he doesn’t look appeased. 

… Which is rich coming from him, Thor suddenly realizes, and asks, “What was up with those nasty old creeps today?” with a more accusatory tone than was probably necessary. 

“Sorry,” Loki sighs instead of getting sarcastic back, and Thor regrets it immediately. “I wouldn’t really have done anything. I was just bored and mad. And sorry for being melodramatic yesterday about whatsherface, Malibu Barbie.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s been a long fucking week.” 

“Yeah, partially my fault. I kinda put you through the wringer, huh.”

Thor privately thinks that he can't argue with that, but he squeezes Loki’s hand and chooses to keep his mouth shut instead. 

“I just… needed to know you were serious,” Loki goes on, “that I wasn’t just convenient for some kind of gay experiment for you, you know? I didn’t want to be like all the girls you date and then get tired of five minutes later.”

He wouldn’t ever—he _couldn’t_ just dump Loki like that, but he supposes he’d never really given Loki cause to think otherwise, not with his history. So he reaches over, gently turns Loki’s chin toward him, and says, “I got tired of them because they weren’t _you_ , Lo. Nobody else ever came close to making me feel like you do.”

There’s a moment exactly like earlier, after he’d kissed Loki’s cheek, and Loki had looked up at him with his cheeks flushed and eyes wide. Except when Loki looks at him like that this time, Thor isn’t stuck wishing he could kiss him. He just leans in and does it. 

It starts off slow and soft, but they’re both too impatient to leave it that way for long. They kiss until Thor can’t think straight, until his head’s swimming and he’s mapped out every inch of Loki’s back and shoulders with his fingers, until he’s as familiar with the shape of Loki’s mouth as his own—until Loki tries to climb into Thor’s lap and knocks them both off the rock and into the shallows again. 

Thor wheezes when he lands hard on his back in the wet sand, and again when Loki lands with his bony knee right in his stomach. But they start laughing as soon as the shock wears off, and wind up spending the next several more minutes right where they are, giggling like little kids between kisses. 

It’s after 10:30 when Thor finally thinks to look at his watch, and the two of them swear and scramble back to their feet, grab all their stuff, and hurry back up the beach still dripping wet and holding hands the whole way up the street. Until they’re in sight of the hotel again, of course, where they get a mild talking-to from their mom for staying out so late without checking in. 

“Your father has convinced me to go golfing with him tomorrow,” Frigga sighs from the bedroom door once they’re back in dry clothes and getting ready to go to bed. Odin is already snoring, and her face still definitely looks flushed (which Loki had prodded her about with a knowing grin until she’d confessed to them both having too much wine during and after dinner). “You know how long he takes. We probably won’t be back until dinnertime, so behave yourselves tomorrow.”

Thor glances over at Loki, and yeah. He’s thinking the same thing. Oh god.

“Sure thing, Mom,” Thor says, even while he’s breaking out in a sweat. 

He’s still sweating by the time all the lights are out and his parents’ door is closed, when he and Loki crawl into their tiny goddamn sofa bed. If he’d thought that after everything that’s happened (and the good hour they’d spent lip-locked), tonight would be easier than all the previous nights he’d spent lying awake, trying not to think about Loki sleeping next to him, he quickly discovers that he is wrong.

It’s so much worse.

He tries facing away from him for a while, but every moment he can’t see Loki has him worried that he’s gonna turn around and find out that he’d dreamed this whole thing and he’s still sleeping in from the night before, so he rolls onto his other side. But then he finds that Loki has also opted to get comfortable facing him, and the two of them wind up staring at each other from a foot apart for what feels like forever, Thor wishing the whole time that he could scoot over there and get his hands on him even more than usual. 

But then again… just a little contact won’t hurt, right? 

It’s fine if he just reaches over and grabs one of Loki’s hands, surely, so he does. 

Loki gives him a small smile, hardly visible in the low light, and squeezes his fingers. Thor thinks his heart might give out. 

The clock ticks in the kitchenette, and a car drives by outside… Thor hears their dad cough in the bedroom, and is suddenly reminded why they have to keep their distance tonight. He’s not stupid enough to think that they’ll be able to keep this up long term without any complications or near misses, but he’s also not stupid enough to invite the kind of risk that comes with trying to get frisky with your brother while your parents are asleep in the next room. And certainly not this soon. 

But Loki is absently drawing circles on his palm with a fingertip now, feeling out the back of his hand and the shape of his wrist, and it’s incredibly distracting. And so is the way the moonlight from the gap in the curtains catches on the tip of his nose and across one cheek, down the side of his long neck… and before Thor knows it, he’s tracing it with his own fingers and watching Loki’s lashes flutter when he curves around to his throat and back up to his chin. This is fine, though. They’re just touching. It’s nothing, you know, sexual or anything. 

That’s tomorrow, he thinks—and has to close his eyes and bite the inside of his cheek. 

Shit. He’s not thinking about that right now, nope. Not thinking about it. Save it for later.

Loki’s lips find his fingers then, soft and delicate, just a gentle kiss pressed to his fingertips. Thor goes warm all over, but in the nice, pure, wholesome way, and he has to smile into his pillow. He loves Loki, and Loki loves him. Yeah, they got problems, but now they know for sure. Thank god they had it out, honestly. He would do it all over again for another chance to finally have Loki holding his hand and kissing his fingers like that—

And wrapping his lips around two of them and _sucking_ —

He takes it back. Loki does not love him. Loki wants him to suffer.

_“Loki!”_ he hisses, and tries to take his hand back, but Loki just makes eye contact and scrapes his teeth across the pads of Thor’s fingertips, then pulls them all the way in until he’s tonguing at the webbing between them. 

Thor lets out a whine that is absolutely too loud, and tugs a little harder on his hand. And thankfully, Loki lets him go this time. 

“Are you trying to kill me?” Thor whispers while he scrubs his fingers dry on the sheet. 

“Is it working?” Loki whispers back. 

He’s grinning, that old conspiratorial smile just for Thor that he loves so much, and Thor forgives him immediately. Which, honestly, he would have done either way. 

“You’re such a pain in my ass, Lo.”

Loki’s smile turns into a full on smirk. “Hmm, maybe later.”

Thor might go a little lightheaded. 

He, um, had not considered that particular arrangement, hasn’t ever gotten curious enough to find out what that might feel like… But he is now, and he certainly is _not_ opposed to it, especially when he remembers Loki’s slick fingers disappearing inside him, how easy he’d made that look. 

(Thor also very vividly recalls the fact that Loki is packing more than he’d bargained for. Oh boy.)

Not right now though. Later. Tomorrow maybe. He’s not going to think about it anymore tonight. If he does, he’s not going to be able to keep his hands to himself. Time to just go to sleep, and see what happens in the morning. 

“Like, way later,” Loki adds after a moment, thoughtful. “Not that that has to happen if you don’t want it to. I’m good with either way. You can top all you want.”

Oh dear god.

“Loki, please shut up.”

He does, for a minute or so, and he also stops touching Thor’s other hand. Thor would be lying if he said he didn’t miss it, but he really does need to go to sleep and shut off his downstairs brain before they get themselves in too deep. 

And then, before Thor gets a chance to breathe easy, Loki speaks again, but more quietly this time. “We don’t… have to do anything actually. It’s okay.”

Thor can hear the resignation in his voice, and suddenly remembers the ‘gay experiment’ comment earlier. Shit. They’re both saying the wrong things at the wrong time tonight, huh?

“I thought _I_ was supposed to be the stupid one,” Thor says, and hauls Loki in close enough to kiss, which he does, until Loki relaxes in his arms and sighs, his breath warm on Thor’s cheek. And since he’s here, he might as well get a lovely handful of Loki’s ass and move on, dragging his lips down the side of Loki’s throat. 

(It’s fine. They’re being quiet. It’s not going any further than this.)

“You’re the rude one,” Loki breathes. The waver in his voice is more than encouraging, so Thor slips his other hand up the back of his shirt, just touching what he can reach. 

“I want you, Lo,” he tells him with complete honesty. “I want everything. I’m not a hundred percent sure I even know what ‘everything’ is, but if it involves you, I want it. You can have me whichever way you want, and I’ll say ‘yes, please’ and ‘thank you,’ alright?”

“Fuck… who’s a pain in the ass now?” Loki grates out.

Thor huffs as quiet a laugh as he can manage and finds his lips again, short and sweet this time. “Anytime, _babe_. Except right now, because I’m about to fuckin’ lose it, and we really, _really_ do not need to get caught.”

“Ugh, you’re right. We’d be so dead.”

“Yeah.”

He shouldn’t, but Thor kisses him one more time since he can, and then it becomes clear why he shouldn't have when Loki adds, “But like, only if we _got_ caught,” and catches Thor’s bottom lip between his teeth. 

He has a point—one that Thor shouldn’t be agreeing with. 

And here’s another bad idea: Thor gives Loki’s ass another squeeze and pulls him close until they’re hip to hip. Turns out Loki is hard, and Thor catches up real quick, especially when Loki hums and grinds up against him like he can’t help it. But they can still stop anytime, Thor tries to convince himself. He’s walked away from closer encounters and lived, right? None of those have been with Loki, though, and in addition to being the goddamn love of Thor’s life, he also seems bound and determined to make this as difficult as possible for Thor so far. 

“Hey, you remember that day you walked in on me?” Loki whispers against his lips, right before he reaches up and starts teasing at one of Thor’s nipples through his shirt. (Who knew those were directly connected to his cock? Not Thor. Fuck.)

“Obvious _ly—shit_ ,” Thor replies. “Why?” 

“Before you showed up, I was thinking about you.”

Anytime, Thor thinks. He can roll over anytime. … Or go sleep in the bathtub maybe. 

“And after I showed up?” he asks, because he’s stupid. But anybody would be stupid with Loki’s cock digging into their hip while he cups and kneads at their tits up under their shirt now. God.

Loki shrugs. “You were right there. I didn’t have to think about anything.”

He should definitely go sleep in the bathtub. 

“What were you gonna do?” Loki asks, then licks at Thor’s lips in a way that has him practically whining. “Before the phone rang, you were coming over, weren’t you? What did I miss out on?”

Thor doesn’t have to think back too hard; it’s been on his mind every waking moment of every day since it had happened, after all. At the time, he didn’t have anything particular in mind. He’d just needed to get his hands on Loki somehow. In the meantime, though, he’s pondered it long and hard and come up with a million things he might have done, but there was one way it could have played out that he keeps coming back to. 

“I was gonna kiss you,” he starts, then does just that. He figures that if he’d had the self-control to not embarrass himself with a complete lack of coordination and skill that day, he might have tried to put all the things he wanted to say and couldn’t into that kiss. He’s already told Loki now, but he tries anyway because it’s all still true, and he hopes that that small noise Loki just let out and the way he suddenly digs his hand into Thor’s hair means he’s getting the message across. He ramps up his efforts though, just in case, and Loki eases onto his back and pulls Thor down after him with very little suggestion. 

It’s hard to tell in the low light, but Loki’s cheeks look flushed when Thor leans back. 

“That’s it?” he says, managing to sound unimpressed even while he’s breathing hard. “Just a kiss?”

Thor starts to think about how far he can push this right now, about where the line is between being able to chill out and go back to their respective sides of the bed, and doing something truly idiotic. They should just wait until tomorrow.

… He’s _so_ tired of waiting, though… And the last time their parents had gotten wine-drunk, Thor and Loki had stayed up all night and made all kinds of racket playing Super Mario in the living room and never disturbed them once, not even when an argument over whose turn it was turned physical and ended with Loki screeching while Thor held him down and tickled him until he gave up the controller. Thor doesn’t know how much they had tonight, but at this point, the hungry look on Loki’s face and the years of holding back are just too much. They can be quiet, right? 

“There was a little more than that,” Thor says, and slips down the bed.

“Oh, _fuck_ ,” Loki hisses. Thor hasn’t even touched him yet, so that’s not very encouraging. 

“Shhh!”

“Right, right. Sorry.”

Some awkward fumbling in the dark gets Loki’s shirt off, and then his shorts and briefs, and then Thor can’t get his hands and lips on him fast enough. He starts low on his stomach, loving the way Loki tenses up when he mouths at the soft skin there, before he remembers how maddening it felt when Loki got after his tits and decides to make a brief detour to repay the favor. And apparently it’s not just him—Loki has to be shushed again when Thor leans up to suck on one nipple and then the other. 

He could stay right there all night, making Loki whine and dig his nails into Thor’s shoulders, and maybe they do technically have a good long while here, but Thor’s too impatient to drag it out right now, so he licks and sucks his way downward again (maybe a little nibble thrown in here and there for good measure), until he’s reminded that he doesn’t actually know what he’s doing when his chin bumps into Loki’s cock. He knows what he likes, though, and that he likes Loki very, very much, so he takes a second to get his bearings and noses into the dark hair right in front of him, breathing in his scent, before he decides to just go for it and give him a good, solid lick.

“Thor, oh shit, oh shit,” Loki gasps above him. 

Promising. So is the taste of him, and Thor wants more right now. 

He can’t fit all of Loki in his mouth (yet), but he does his best, and Loki keeps on cursing under his breath and hikes a leg around Thor’s back, his heel digging in while Thor tries to find a good rhythm and Loki apparently struggles to keep still. Thor appreciates the effort; maybe one of these days he’ll be ready for Loki to just let loose and fuck his mouth, but he’ll need some practice first. 

(Well, he’s not _physically_ ready yet anyway… The thought of it has his eyes rolling back and his dick throbbing. In his heart, he’s been ready. Later, though. Later.)

He’s got one hand splayed across Loki’s stomach, just to feel him breathe and feel his abs tighten up everytime Thor does something worth repeating, but a couple minutes into this, Loki grabs it and pulls it upward. That’s fine. Thor loves holding his hand already. He can have it. But then Loki does some wiggling around with his upper half toward the edge of the bed, and does some huffing in between the more pleasure-inspired noises, until Thor hears him rifling around in his bag. 

“What are you doing?” he asks after pulling off Loki’s cock with a soft little _pop_. He could use a deeper breath anyway. 

Loki’s answer is to suddenly smear Thor’s hand with something cold and wet and slippery, and say, “Start with one, alright? Your fingers are thicker than mine.”

Thor is the one who has to be hushed for swearing too loud this time. 

But holy shit—he’s been stuck on the memory of Loki fingering himself all week, and now here he is, trying to keep from getting lube everywhere while he bites his lip and eases the pad of one slick finger down below Loki’s sack until he finds what he’s looking for. Too bad it’s so dark… but he’ll have more chances to see this up close, he’s sure. 

“Agh,” Loki says, and jerks just a little bit. 

“You okay?”

“Fine. It’s just cold. Keep going. Slow, though.”

He does keep going, conscious of the way Loki seems to be holding his breath up there while he presses harder with his middle finger—and then it’s in, just up to the first knuckle, but both of them suck in a sharp breath at the same time. Thor hopes it doesn’t hurt, but Loki feels so tight around him that he’s not sure if that was a good gasp or a bad one. 

“More,” Loki says before he can ask. 

Not quite an answer to his unasked question, but he complies and keeps pushing until his knuckles are pressed up against Loki’s cheeks and he can’t go any further. 

“What should I… Just, out and back in, or…?”

Loki nods, or at least Thor is pretty sure that’s a nod. He doesn’t seem to be as turned on or as hard as he was before they started this, and while Thor is sure that getting a foreign object shoved (gently) up your ass takes some adjusting, he doesn’t see why he can’t make the adjusting an enjoyable process, too. 

It seems to go more smoothly once he gets his mouth back on Loki’s cock and gets his movements coordinated. And Loki starts making those lovely sounds again, especially when he gets bolder with his hand and starts looking for—

“Up a little, no, not that far, yeah just— _fuck_ , right there.”

Now they’re in business, Thor thinks, and once he slips in another finger and focuses on Loki’s prostate, Loki starts shifting his hips with him, thrusting shallowly against his tongue and fucking himself on Thor’s hand, and _god_ , Thor has to grind into the mattress just to try and take some of the edge off. But then with the both of them moving around, the bed frame starts to creak, quiet but rhythmic in a way that can’t really be mistaken for anything but what it is, so he tries to cool it and just put all his efforts into getting Loki off instead. He’s more than fine with that anyway. 

“Aahhh, moremoremore. Come on, hurry up before I come— _ahh_...” 

That’s sort of the point, but Thor obliges him. Loki lets out the best little moan yet when he starts in with three fingers, too. He feels amazing stretched around them like this, and Thor can only imagine how much better he’d feel around his cock—oh god—but there’s no way they can get away with that right now. Not with this noisy sofa bed. He doesn’t care how much wine their parents had. 

“Can you,” Loki pants, “can you like, spread your fingers just a little? God, I haven’t even seen—how big around are you?” 

This doesn’t make a lot of sense to Thor. Until it does, and then he wishes it didn’t. 

He pops off Loki’s dick again and whispers, “No, nonono, we can’t. We really, really can’t.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Have you not heard this stupid bed?”

“I don’t care, just… fuck me quietly or something.”

“Loki, fuck,” Thor groans. “You’re killing me.” 

“We can just try it, okay? If it’s too loud, we’ll figure something out. Just fuck me, for the love of god.”

Thor is sensing a pattern here. Starting right now, he’s not thinking of anything else they ‘absolutely cannot’ do, because obviously it’s not gonna work out that way. 

… Shit, he’s already given in, hasn’t he?

He doesn’t know he could say no, though, not with Loki suddenly tightening up around his fingers, propping himself up on his elbows, and looking down at him with his bottom lip between his teeth. He’s probably got something annoyingly seductive to say, so Thor decides to just cut him off right there. 

“Save it,” he sighs. “This is a terrible idea, for the record.”

“Fucking me is a great idea and you know it.”

Thor eases his fingers out slowly, not slowly enough to keep Loki from grousing at him, but it’s the best he can do. Also he’s very eager to replace them with his dick, despite it being a terrible idea, so he hopes he can be forgiven. 

“Oh, it is,” he agrees. “Fucking you with Mom and Dad in the next room, though? Less great.”

The bed frame lets out a few sharp, metallic squeaks just to prove his point while Thor crawls up and kisses Loki back into the mattress, and Loki goes more than willingly, tugging Thor’s t-shirt up over his head in the process. “Hurry up, lose the shorts,” he whispers, and keeps pulling at Thor’s clothes until he’s naked, too. 

There’s a horrifying moment then, wherein Thor nearly embarrasses himself beyond hope of redemption. But in his defense, they’ve been at this a while now, and he’s been cockblocking himself all week, so when Loki reaches down with a lube-coated hand to slick him up, it takes a vast amount of mental fortitude and a sharp bite down on his tongue to keep from coming on the spot. 

“You okay there?” Loki asks. The noise Thor had just made was decent cause for alarm, admittedly. 

“Mm-hmm.”

Loki stares up at him for a second, then leans up to leave a quick peck on his lips. “Good,” he says, “because I’ve been waiting for you to get this dick in me for years, and if you don’t do it in the next five seconds, I’m finishing myself off without you.”

As good a show as that might be, Thor hasn’t come this far to be satisfied with just that. 

It probably takes more than five seconds for them to get arranged just right (and for Loki to stop stroking him with that slow, steady, perfect pressure—holy shit, he’s good at this), but Loki doesn’t make good on his threat. And then Thor’s pressing into him, slow and careful, his lip firmly between his teeth while he focuses on not shoving in all at once or coming in two seconds and tries to keep an eye on Loki’s face, just to make sure he’s okay. He’s about halfway in when Loki’s eyebrows turn up and his jaw drops, and he digs his nails into Thor’s thigh, hard, so he stops where he is. 

“Loki, hey,” he starts to say, worried, but Loki lets go of his leg and slaps it a couple times instead. 

“Keep going, keep going.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m fucking sure,” Loki hisses. “I’m just getting fucked by my big brother who I’ve been in love with my whole fucking life and never thought I could have, and I’m having a moment, okay?”

… Fair enough. Thor’s been too focused on making this last to really think about it like that just yet, but there’s no stopping it now. 

As soon as he’s bottomed out and Loki starts breathing normally again, he leans down, doing his best not to jostle him too much, and kisses him like his life depends on it until Loki wraps both his arms and legs around Thor and pulls him as close as they can manage. The bed protests, but Thor doesn’t care about that right now. 

“I love you so much,” Thor whispers. “I always have, always.”

“God, are you having a moment, too?” Loki asks. “One at a time, and it’s my turn.” 

Thor laughs, louder than he should. And then Loki smiles up at him, and he’s just got to kiss him again. They’ve barely gotten started, and it’s already so good. He can’t wait to see what else is in store for them… especially here in the very near future, when he gets to watch and listen to Loki come undone for him. Might as well get a start on that, he thinks, and gives him a slow roll of his hips.

Loki groans, too loud. 

So does the bed.

“Um,” Thor says. 

Maybe they can just go a little slower than that, even. 

_CREAK_

“You know what, I have an idea,” Loki offers, and tosses the closest pillow off the bed. “Grab that blanket and meet me on the floor.”

Loki has always been _so_ smart. 

It’s sad having to pull right back out, but necessary, and totally worth it once Thor gets the comforter spread out and is promptly shoved onto his back and straddled. It’s still dark, but with Loki above him like this, he can see a good deal more of all that pale skin looking even paler in the dim moonlight, his cock standing at attention, the concentration on his face as he gets ahold of Thor’s, lines himself up, and sinks down onto it. He doesn’t take his time with it like Thor had a couple minutes ago, and the sudden slide and the slick, tight heat leave Thor gasping and tightening his grip on Loki’s hips. 

It takes a few moments to get coordinated and work out a rhythm, but once they do, Thor knows he’s not going to last very long at all. The floor is hard and uncomfortable, but even so, it’s still too good. Loki feels too right and too perfect, looks too goddamn hot riding him like this with his hands braced against Thor’s chest (and back at it with the tits—he’s obsessed with them or something, but Thor is well on his way there, too)… He does his best to help out and angle his thrusts the same way he’d used his fingers, but Loki seems to have that covered. Every so often, he’ll pause and grind down on Thor’s cock like he’s savoring the sensation, dragging it out as much as he can and driving Thor closer and closer in the process before he lifts up again. It must be something to put that look on his face and get him making those soft, stifled noises (that probably wouldn’t be so soft if they had a choice at the moment). Thor thinks that he’d very much like to find out what that’s like for himself soon—and reaches for Loki’s dick, partially to appreciate the heft of it in his hand, but mostly just because he’s suddenly too close, and he needs to see Loki come first.

“Hnnnnn,” Loki says, and, “Thor— _fuck_ ,” once Thor starts stroking him in earnest. He loses the rhythm momentarily, hips stuttering like he can’t decide whether he wants to thrust into Thor’s fist or get as much of his cock in him as possible, but then he’s speeding up, wrapping his hand around Thor’s and setting a new pace. Thor holds on, but he doesn’t have to much longer, because then Loki’s letting out a low, punched out breath and coming, warm and wet over Thor’s stomach and chest. 

  
Thor’s never seen or felt anything hotter in his life, and he follows him right over the edge, driving up into Loki as deep as he can and letting go. 

“Oh god, yeah,” Loki pants, and Thor has to hold back a groan when he realizes that he felt it, too. 

It takes a few moments for Thor’s heart to stop pounding in his ears and for him to catch his breath, but just as soon as he regains the capacity for rational thought beyond _good_ , and _yes,_ and _Loki_ , Loki is bending down and smothering him in a sloppy kiss that’s entirely free of finesse and absolutely perfect. 

“Love you,” Loki mumbles against his lips, and Thor can only pull him in and kiss him harder.

———

They stay where they are for a while. Thor couldn’t say how long exactly, just that he’s pretty sure nothing short of forever would have been long enough. But eventually Loki says something about his knees hurting, and they do some awkward shifting around until they’re facing each other again, sharing the one pillow they brought down to the floor and halfway wrapped up in the blanket. 

Thor tells himself that they can stay put a little while longer, just as long as they don’t fall asleep like this, naked and cuddled up and obviously post-coital. Of course, he forgets that he evidently does not have a good grasp on what they can and cannot do this evening, and realizes that, yeah, they _can_ fall asleep like this, very easily, when he wakes up with a crick in his neck and Loki’s knees in his back a few hours later. 

Stupid. Really, really stupid. They’re _so_ lucky he woke up when he did. It’s almost four in the morning. Fuck.

Loki’s got worse words for him than ‘stupid’, though, when he shakes him and tells him to put his clothes on and get back in the bed, such as _‘fuck off,’_ and _‘asshole,’_ but then he wakes up a bit more and sees reason… And also the dried mess on Thor’s chest, which he scratches at with something that might be a blush, though Thor can’t be certain in the low light. 

“I should clean up, huh,” Thor says. 

“Yeah. Me, too.”

_Just a quick kiss,_ Thor thinks once they’re in the bathroom with the door shut and the light on, and the sight of Loki unabashedly bare and all soft and sleepy while they scrub at themselves has his heart beating too fast. _Just one, can’t get crazy._

A few minutes later, when his and Loki’s hands are wrapped around both their cocks together and they’re panting into each other’s mouths, and Loki mutters, “I should’ve known that your dick would be as fucking pretty as the rest of you, you jerk,” Thor realizes that he really should have known better, too… but decides to just go ahead and keep thinking of things they ‘can’t’ do anyway. Seems to be working out so far.

Thankfully, their parents are both still dead to the world once they finally emerge from the bathroom, clothed and sated again (for the time being anyway), and then Loki passes out himself the moment he hits the bed. Thor thinks that maybe he’ll stay up for a bit, watch him sleep, but the next thing he knows, the morning sun is in his eyes and Frigga is saying, “Don’t stay in bed all day, lazies,” from the doorway as she and Odin head out for the golf course. 

Of course, it becomes clear that that request is simply out of the question when Loki pops up from his side of the bed the instant the door closes behind them, suddenly wide awake, and outright _pounces_ on Thor.

(Once he fully wakes up himself, Thor has no complaints about this.)

They do actually get out of bed and the room more the next day, and the one after that, though they take every available opportunity to sneak back to the hotel together while their parents aren’t there. And when they’re on their own, exploring the town and the beach with no one around who knows they’re brothers, Loki will grab Thor’s hand while they walk, or openly flirt with him on the pier, or lick a stray drip of ice cream off his lip right there in the parking lot where anyone can see. The boyfriendish behavior stops once they’re within sight of wherever their parents happen to be, of course, but the brotherly squabbling and affection (and then back to squabbling) comes just as naturally as it always has when they need to pretend that it’s all there is between them. 

Before this vacation, Thor would have said that he knew everything there was to know about Loki. He’d been proven wrong on day one, memorably, but during the second week, he starts to understand just how much he still has left to learn with each new thing that he discovers. Like the way Loki sounds when he’s annoyed and turned on beyond belief at the same time ( _‘How are you already so good at sucking dick after like two times, god, I hate you,’_ is a personal favorite), or that he forgets to be snarky and reverts to sweet words and sweeter kisses right after he comes, or how much he loves to be seen holding Thor’s hand when they walk down to the beach and the pier, how he gets that _‘ha I’m better than you’_ look on his face when he has the chance to casually refer to Thor as his boyfriend to a record store employee when they’re browsing the racks.

And it’s not just Loki. Thor’s learning things about himself, too, like the fact that he loves the Showing the Boyfriend Off business just as much as Loki does, despite a previous aversion to public displays of affection. (He figures that has more to do with who he’s with now compared to who he’s been with before, though.) And how much better he sleeps with Loki tucked up against him somehow, even if they’re just back to back. … And that he really, _really_ likes bottoming.

(The evening after he discovers this, he talks Odin and Frigga into renting a boat and going out the next day, just the two of them, _‘Won’t that be nice, Mom? Take the whole day, really. Me and Loki are fine, promise,’_ and spends the majority of their alone time letting Loki fuck him in every position they can think of.)

It’s not perfect. They get the occasional nasty look on the street from people who apparently have a problem with a couple teenage boys being in love with each other. And once, while they’re laid out on their towels after a morning swim, and Thor is just about to lean over and press his lips to the freckles on Loki’s shoulder, he spots their parents walking in the surf just down the beach and immediately flops over onto his stomach in a panic, spilling a whole bottle of Coke on Loki in the process (which he gets yelled at for). But it’s close enough to perfect that the second week flies by, and when their last night sneaks up on them far too quickly, Thor finds that he’s not at all ready to go back to normal life. The way Loki’s mood takes a turn for the worse, too, says he’s feeling the same way about it.

———

They stay out late that final night, watching campfires pop up down the beach and go out again as people leave, just sitting close together and talking quietly about what comes next. Thor is still set for a school halfway across the state in the fall, and though Loki insists that they’ll find a way to make that work while he finishes high school, Thor is already wondering in the back of his mind if he could put it off a year, if they could go together, share a room… He could find a more permanent job in the meantime and start saving up for tuition in addition to the car, since he doesn’t see them putting his scholarship on hold.

But Loki shakes his head before Thor can bring it up and says, “We have a month and a half, though. Let’s just… worry about it later, okay? I don’t want to think about it anymore.”

The resignation in his voice is all the convincing that Thor needs. Fuck the scholarship. He’ll figure it out.

“Sure,” he says. “What do you wanna do for the rest of the summer, then?”

“We could just let Mom and Dad go home while we stay here,” Loki suggests with a wry grin. 

By the time they head up to the room, they’ve got tentative plans made for back home, ways to sneak off on their own on a semi regular basis at least, and Loki gives Thor a genuine smile when he promises that they’ll come back here, just the two of them. It might not be until next summer, but they’ll make it happen. 

He also has a few calls to make when they get home, before he can share the rest of the good news. Well… his dad is going to murder him for giving that scholarship up, but hopefully it will be good news to Loki anyway. First the school, and then every prospective employer he can think of. He doesn’t know what a beach vacation costs, but maybe a year will be long enough to save up for that and school if he starts right now. 

And if all else fails, he’s already got a decent amount put aside… Maybe he doesn’t need a car just yet after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading!! Please let me know if you enjoyed it ❤️
> 
> Btw I've got more fic in the works right now, and more in the queue after that. See y'all next time!
> 
> [My Twitter](https://twitter.com/woulduknowmore)  
> 


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